So how do you learn to listen to yourself all the time? Especially when some of you may not listen ever. Or even know that that is important?
Okay, it starts with taking responsibility for where you are in life. Knowing that wherever you are and whatever your circumstances, you create your own reality. This is easier said than done. You might be in a bad marriage, a terrible job, or abusive situation. This is also not about taking steps to make your life more difficult or painful. This is about acknowledging that you are where you are and that from here on out, you are going to take charge of your own happiness. That means: don't play the blame game. Only you are responsible for how you feel, how you act and what choices you make from now on.
This can be a hard thing to do and I strongly suggest getting help if you need it. That can be from someone like myself who does kinesiology and energy healing; from a health professional that you trust, a psychologist, a priest or even a friend. We are not meant to travel this journey alone and one of the biggest steps you can make is to ask for help. Humans are meant to be interdependent. Not independent. We are all connected and when you are ready, the teacher will appear.
The second thing is to recognise where your decisions are coming from. Most of us do things from habit, from what you were taught when you were a kid or what you think you "should" be doing. For example, my TV habit is one that I picked up from my childhood. It doesn't make it right, wrong or otherwise. What I can do, however, is take responsibility for the fact that I have chosen (consciously or subconsciously) to continue watching as an adult, and to choose differently. That doesn't mean that I'll never watch TV again. But what I feel is that it's hold on me is getting less and less every day I go without it. I may have crappy days where I watch a lot. And other days when I choose not to watch it at all. But every time I do, it will be a conscious choice and not a numbing activity. I will try to not mindlessly watch until its midnight because I don't want to go to bed, or because I want to escape. But if I do choose to watch, then I will be mindful of when and how much I watch and hopefully turn it off when I think I've had enough. Most importantly if I slip (and let's be honest - that's likely) then I will need to forgive myself and keep trying to choose differently next time.
I finally think this is something I can do earnestly and for the longer term. I never felt ready or able to before now.
How to listen to your body:
When you make decisions, you may also often work through the choices with your head and not your heart. What do I mean by this? Well, with your head you often debate, have pros and cons, agonise over details, try and figure out the "hows" of how to make things work, and the "why's" often don't get much of a look in. And if they do, they get included with all the other mind chatter.
When you make a heart-based or intuitive decision, it is usually a gut choice, one which you don't question and which you trust implicitly. The dangers with this method is that you may not trust your intuition and you may feel like you need to make a more "considered" choice. The problem with these "considered" choices though is that they include all of your subconscious programming which includes issues with doubting yourself, your self-worth, your right to make decisions based on feelings alone. It's also very easy to include other issues in your current decision which may or may not be helpful.
The thing is though, this is the only way I think we need to make our decisions. Yes, that is a big call, sometimes you need to consider practicalities. But really, once you get attuned to your intuition and you really learn to trust it, I know that it never steers me wrong. You will rely on it for all the decisions that you need to make and when you do, you will do it with clarity and awareness.
When you can master understanding your bodies needs, then its just a case of remembering to ask! Remember the question "what's the best thing for me right now?". It's a powerful tool that will never steer you wrong. It can lead you out of disaster time and time again. You may want to rebel against it, do the "wrong" thing, or simply ignore very strong signals if you choose not to listen. If you do decide to listen though, your body (and your life) will thank you for it.
This week has been such an interesting ride. I knew I'd have to deal with stuff and work through some issues, and I'm sure this will continue from here. But I also know that I've got much more clarity over what drives my thought patterns around my numbing activities; why I continue to do it again and again and also how I can get out of it if I choose.
The only step now is to do it.