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We all have our vices. I know this as well as anyone. For me over the years it has moved from over-eating to over-exercising to drinking too much, sleeping too much and the list goes on. It’s taken a long time for me to face up to it, but most of these have been changed. I no longer eat wheat, dairy, sugar, drink alcohol (except special occasions and then not much), I meditate every day and I exercise when I can. But I do still have a rather large and devastating vice that has stayed in place and not budged. At all. Ever.
And I’ve been wondering for a while, why do we do this? When we clearly know (or have become aware of) things that aren’t healthy for us, why do we keep doing them?
The only conclusion I have come up with is that we are numbing. This is more common than we think. The reason? A break from the incessant, overwhelming and stressful brain chatter that we endure each day. It’s the reason why more and more people are moving towards yoga, meditation, career changes and tree-changes.
Especially living in cities like Sydney and Canberra which are expensive and busy. We are in this ever-increasing spiral of working harder, doing more, getting more tired and trying to achieve the impossible. So after a long day’s work, cooking, tidying, perhaps getting kids to bed and any other tasks that need to be done, what do we do? Do we sit and have meaningful conversations or meditate? Do we spend time connecting to ourselves and our needs? Well, I certainly haven’t been. I’ve been participating in a time-honoured tradition for my family, that is damaging in so many ways; I watch TV. Not occasionally, not for special events, but every night. Without fail. For hours.
Why? Because I spend so much time looking after children, households, shopping, working, admin, running around, travelling for work, dealing with tantrums, a lack of sleep and more. I deserve a break don’t I?
The problem is though, my cycle of doing everything, feeling stressed and overwhelmed doesn’t change. And what I can’t cope with today, only gets put off until tomorrow.
What I’ve known for years (but until now have ceased to actually take action on) is that all I am doing is numbing. We all do it in our own individual ways. It can be via eating too much, spending excess time on Facebook or trawling the internet, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, taking drugs. In each and every case though we are doing the same thing – avoiding being alone with ourselves and dealing with our over-complicated lives.
And for good reason. It can be scary to look deeply at our lives. I’m no stranger to delving into many different aspects of my life, shifting, working through and changing my perceptions and my attractor field. However, I still have this last nasty habit hanging around. And I call it a nasty habit because the idea of not having it is actually scary.
In this 2015 energy, as people who know me well hear me say: This is the year to start breaking these habits. We need to get off the merry-go-round of things that don’t serve us and try something different.
A good friend of mine recently quit sugar and told me it was her final numbing agent. She had removed it, after years of being alcohol and caffeine free, and the depths of self-discovery for her were huge. So I got to thinking. If she could have this massive shift in self-discovery from removing this final hurdle, what would happen if I removed mine?
The challenge to myself? Having a week without TV at all. This may be nothing to some of you but to me it’s huge. And no, I’m not crazy. I’m not about to throw it out and burn it. But as anyone with an addiction needs to do, I am going to take it one small step at a time.
I anxiously (and excitedly) await the results. What will I allow in when that (actually rather large) space is created.
And my question to you is: How do you numb? What are you doing to avoid yourself? And are you ready to join me in my Week Free Of….. Challenge?
Yours in Health
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